It was October 2020 and I was four weeks into puppyhood with Annie. I had dreams of my second dog being an amazing service dog, you know the ones that visit hospitals and nursing homes. Instead I felt like I was living with a terror that probably wanted to bite and attack the elderly and sick, not cheer them up.
I remember waiting for the trainer to arrive. I’d been working with him for Ruger, my first dog, so naturally when Annie joined the family we continued working together. This was his second visit in the four short weeks since I had brought Annie home.
We spent the session walking around the pasture, me explaining the barking at new people and other dogs, the intentional lunging at and biting people, the general chaos of her behavior. Of course she walked perfectly for a twelve week old puppy on a harness while he was here.
As our session ended we were standing in front of my house, I was explaining the issues and struggles we were having even though he wasn’t able to experience them first hand. I remember him telling me I was the problem, not the dog and I must not have been doing what he had instructed me to do correctly. He asked if I had ever considered rehoming or returning her to the breeder. Of course I had, the last four weeks had been miserable, frankly I didn’t even like Annie that much, but she was my responsibility and that meant something to me. Thinking about it in moments of exhaustion and frustration didn’t necessarily mean it was the best solution.
He ended the session by saying Annie and I didn’t have the right vibe for each other (yes, he said vibe), I wouldn’t be able to sustain the lifestyle changes needed to be her leader. If I couldn’t turn her behavior around and make his training work or rehome her he was no longer willing to work with me. I was speechless, I had never been spoken to the way he spoke to me that day. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of crying in front of him but the moment he couldn’t see me in the rearview mirror I broke down.
That day sparked a fire in me that I won’t allow anyone to put out. No one would ever speak to me that way again and I was going to do everything within my power to change the dynamic between Annie and I. It’s probably common that people aren’t willing to make lifestyle changes to meet the needs of their dog, he’d probably experienced it a dozen times before; my brother has talked of similar scenarios in healthcare between patients and doctors. The issue is I didn’t fail the challenge he asked of me, he never asked and just assumed failure was my only option.
January of 2021 I ran across an account on Instagram that would change everything. He was a trainer out of Pittsburgh and was making tons of content and doing weekly lives.
He posted videos with training breakdowns from simple obedience through troubleshooting behavioral issues. I started implementing everything to a tee. We had a daily checklist – we were tracking time spent on obedience training, confidence building, how many minutes a day she was on place, how many hours we spent on walks, etc. The checklist wasn’t a necessity but self-enforced accountability – was I doing what I committed to do? Was I truly doing everything I could to make this work?
Months went by and the thought crossed my mind again, maybe we really couldn’t make this work, maybe I did need to send her back to the breeder. I booked a live session with the trainer in Pittsburgh. For me I had already prepared myself that this trip would be the final confirmation that even though I had done everything I could, we just weren’t a good fit.
As we pulled into the facility I was both anxious and heartbroken.
Rue & Oak 